Behind these smiles..?

Was there a time when you felt like there was something beneath your smiles? What i mean is that, yes your smiling, but for some reason you know that its fake...but still you continue to smile..

Today i felt that... I was happy being with my friends, but for some reason i felt insecure, i felt incomplete... coz i had one friend who i haven't talked with for a long time now...

You see i have this friend in church who really annoys me, coz he kepts on hitting me and making fun of me... so i got mad at him and didn't mind him... As days passed, i neglected him, actually i almost slapped him! coz he freakin' hugged me!... but i couldn't...coz he's my friend. Then i had friends who told me that he's only insecure, and i just said, "Watever..." i know i'm mean, but hey? what can i do? i was mad, annoyed, and well...hurt...

I was hurt coz i've been trying to befriend him, trying to get close with him, for him to feel that someone cares, kasi nga insecure siya...but then he neglects all my efforts...so i stopped caring and eventually really neglected him..

When i was playing with the youth, i saw him...and he was alone... i felt sad, and wanted to talk to him..but for some reason there's a part of me who wouldn't... And that's when my fake smiles begun...i was enjoying and all but then deep within, i was worrying about him...hey i don't like him ok?...its just that, he was one of my first friends here in davao...and well, i don't wana loose a friend like him... he may be mean, annoying, bad-mouthed dude, but deep within i know he's hurt and alone...=,c... Behind my smiles there were tears... that wouldn't come out from my eyes, but rather came out from my smiles...